Their eyes just stared straight at me, silent and glossed over. After spending over five minutes explaining a diagnosis and outlining a treatment plan, while being interrupted multiple times, the patient simply got up and walked out of the room.
Moments like this make it clear that communication is everything.
I can’t think of a life skill that is more critical today. Whether in medicine, business, or personal relationships, the ability to listen and be present can determine whether a conversation leads to understanding or frustration.
Yet, most people think they are better listeners than they are. Instead of truly hearing what is being said, they listen just to respond.
As clinicians, we teach our students that nearly 70% of a diagnosis comes from listening to a patient’s story. It is not just about identifying symptoms. It is about constructing a full picture, understanding the social context, and aligning with the patient’s goals.
The same principle applies to all relationships. Real connection is about making sure the person you are speaking with feels heard and understood. It is more than just exchanging words.
Active listening is a powerful skill that can transform relationships, yet it is often overlooked or not practiced effectively. This article will explore why active listening matters and how to apply it in conversations.
The Difference Between Hearing and Listening
I’ve lost count of how many times my wife has asked, “Are you even hearing me?” Or how often my dad told my mom, “Jo Anne, you’re hearing me, but you’re not listening.”
Those moments stuck with me because they highlight an important difference. Hearing just happens. Listening takes effort.
Not listening well can hurt relationships more than we realize. It leads to misunderstandings, frustration, and unnecessary tension. Over time, it can chip away at trust and create distance between two people.
Whether it’s a personal or professional relationship, people start to disengage when they don’t feel heard. Conversations become shallow, and real connection fades.
On the other hand, active listening strengthens relationships. Being fully present, resisting the urge to interrupt, and absorbing what the other person is saying builds trust and deepens connection.
Furthermore, it also helps resolve conflict. I’ve found that when I focus on truly listening instead of just thinking about how I’ll respond, I’m able to show more empathy and appreciate the perspective from where the other person is coming from.
Even small changes such as repeating back what someone said to make sure you understood or asking a thoughtful question can turn a conversation from frustrating to meaningful.
Key Principles of Active Listening
#1. Presence: Be Fully Engaged
-Avoid distractions (put away the phone, maintain eye contact).
-Show nonverbal cues (nodding, facial expressions, open body language.
#2. Reflection: Show You Understand
-Repeat or paraphrase what the other person is saying.
-Example: “So what I’m hearing is that you feel frustrated because…is that right?”
#3. Validation: Acknowledge the Speaker’s Perspective
-Even if you don’t agree, acknowledge the other person’s feelings: “I can see why that would be upsetting” or “That sounds really frustrating.”
-Focus on understanding before offering advice, unless they specifically ask for it.
#4. Clarification: Ask Thoughtful Questions
-Use open-ended questions to encourage deeper conversation.
-Example: “What was that experience like for you?”
Connection is Everything
Active listening is a key skill for building meaningful connections in today’s world. It is about being present, showing understanding, and creating space for real communication.
Better listening leads to stronger relationships, deeper trust, and more effective conversations in every area of life.
What is one active listening technique you can use in your next conversation?
Try it and reflect on the difference it makes.
Small changes in how we listen can create big shifts in how we connect. The more we truly hear others, the more we inspire them to do the same.
“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
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References
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Shaun Lynch is the founder of Impacting Education, an online personal development company dedicated to empowering individuals to lead lives of purpose, fulfillment, and impact. Dr. Lynch combines his expertise in healthcare and education to inspire positive, lasting change through his writing and teaching.